I had a Kirby experience

Please note: I do not claim to be either a scientist or a psychologist of any kind. The theories stated are my own and based only on my own observations. Agree with them, or don't. In the end, judge for yourself.

For the first time in my life, I've touched a Kirby vacuum cleaner. It was magic.

It all started Friday evening when we were at my sister's house for a barbecue. My brother-in-law came back from the phone, telling us that he had made an appointment at monday 2pm for someone to come clean their sofa, for free. Apparently, a couple of their friends had wanted to give them this service, as they had it done themselves.

So Monday came, and we were there for lunch. 10 minutes past 2 he knocked on the door. He introduced himself to my sister and her husband, and then looked at me and my wife, more than a little skeptical, and asked us, "Are you going to be here the whole time?" I said yes, and he told me that usually he only does these demonstrations "per couple" but for this time, it was ok. Was I supposed to feel grateful for this, or what? My theory is that he felt like the situation was hard to control with other people than the main target around.

The next thing was that my sister and my wife took my niece out to sleep, and this was almost not ok with the salesman. He said that "it's always best if both persons are present during the whole demonstration." I understand him. I mean, the main target to convince are probably the wives. Who wants to waste a demonstration on two guys, when it's their wives who make the final decision anyway?

He started without them. So it was time to do the guy-talk while we were there alone. He told us the engine was engineered by Porsche. What guy doesn't want a vacuum from Porsche? He told us the HEPA-filter was engineered by NASA, and the vacuum bag was made out of Gore-Tex. The Airflow was 4000 litres/minute, whereas our own current vacuum (VOLTA Rolfy, roughly 300 SEK, that's $45) did about 200 litres/minute. I believe this was the guytalk. Every guy wants new technology, and the worst of everything. Namedropping Porsche, NASA and Gore-Tex makes every guy drool, and usually, the case is probably closed as far as the husband goes.

Next up, the demonstration starts. He pulled out the playmat from Klara's rooom, and told Fredrik, my brother-in-law, to start vacuuming it with their own vacuum cleaner. While he did that, the salesman held out the Kirby nozzle by the outflow from the Rolfy. Instead of having the (Gore-Tex, wow!) vacuum bag connected, he put a round compartment where he attached a paper filter to collect the dust sucked in, just to demonstrate. When Fredrik was done, he showed us the filter, and clearly, there was some dust there. Apparently, our $45 Rolfy does let some particles back out. Surprised, anyone?

Continuing the demonstration, the ladies came back and we got to both watch and test all kinds of nozzles for different usage. The one for fabric curtains, furnitures, and my favourite one, the massage one. It felt like a fast vibration on the back. It wasn't uncomfortable, but massage, I'm not so sure.

One thing that surprised me was the noise this thing made. I've always thought Rolfy sounds too much, and has a high pitch that gets realy annoying after more than 10 minutes of vacuuming. But this thing was 10 times Rolfy.

The demonstration went on, and after every new nozzle we tried, he asked, "Was it easy?," and "If you had this machine, would you be able to use it?" I mean, if I had this machine worth 30000SEK, that's $4500, I sure would use it!

We asked questions about Kirby as a company and he answered best he could about owners, distributors, manufacturing and licensing and such. But at the same time, he was really good at diverting our negative feelings toward it. I told him i thought it was rather heavy to be carried around. Quickly, I was told that "No, it weighs about 1,5 kg more than our Rolfy." That was that and he started talking about something else before I could rebute this incorrect statement.

Another example was when my sister tried the "wall nozzle." She felt the angle of the nozzle was all wrong and the had to go really close to the wall herself to be able to use it. She told him this, and he answered, "It's great you had it this way, 'cause this way you can reach over those cupboards." I mean, is this really an answer to the question. It's just so wierd it takes you a second to think if he meant something else, and during that second he's talking about something else. Smart.

After the finale, the bedtest, it was time to close the deal. I found this part rather innocent and very mild from the beginning. He told us his job wasn't to "sell us a vacuum cleaner," it was simply to demonstrate it to us and give us the "opportunity to invest in it." I don't know anyone who vacuums their bedmattress, and I also don't think that it's really that dangerous to sleep in it. For one, if our Rolfy, with it's 200 litres/minute can't suck those bad germs out of our sheets, how could I, with my nose of not so many litres/minute suck them up?

We also asked him his opinion about the things you hear about children growing up in really clean homes get more allergic than other children. He told us this was a myth, and constructed to let us off the guilt of not cleaning enough. Who knows, he might be right. I'm not a doctor. On the other hand, neither was he.

He accepted our polite, but firm, "no's" and packed up his stuff and left. But not before he practically forced them to sign up another couple of their friends to his list. By practically, I mean this: He said that "if we thought that he was a half-decent guy, and the machine was half-interesting, we should give our friends the same opportunity to a free service." What normal person, in their right mind, tells someone in their face that "No, we didn't think you were a half-decent person?"

To sum up, my experience was a rather interesting one. There is a lot of psychology behind these selling methods.

1. It's harder to say no if your friends have referred to you. The same technique used by "Home-parties" like Tupperware, where it's harder to say no in your friend's house, plus if all your friends are getting someting, you have to get it too.

2. The salesman have to control the situation from the beginning to the end. This way he can lure the husband with namedropping Porsche and other tech-names, and slowly convince the wife with his talk about the safety our their children, breathing in germs from the playmat, the hygienic effect of germs in bed, and such.

3. A couple of times during the demonstration, the salesman leaves to "go to the car, because he forgot something." This time is time left on purpose to let the couple talk amongst themselves and hopefully conclude that they really need this machine.

4. By saying that "If you found me half-decent, and the machine half-interesting, you can sign up your friends," he is almost guaranteed a couple of names. If not just to avoid being totally rude, then just to hasten his leave.

And by the way, the "service" they were given was that they were allowed to use the machine to clean their own bed, by themselves. Fantastic!